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Gibbs' Rules
From 3.05 - Switch Ziva: Just to be clear, are there any more of these rules I should be aware of?
Gibbs: About 50 of them.
Ziva: And I don't suppose they're written down anywhere that I could—
Gibbs: NO.
Ziva: Then how am I supposed to—
Gibbs: My job is to teach them to you.
| Rule | Character: "Actual Quote" | From Episode |
| Rule #1: Never let suspects stay together. | Gibbs (to Kate): "Rule number one: Never let suspects stay together." | 1.01 - Yankee White |
| Rule #1: Never screw over your partner. This rule supersedes all other rules. | Gibbs: "Number one supersedes all of the others." Jenny: "Never screw your partner?" Gibbs: "Never screw OVER your partner." | 4.14 - Blowback |
| Rule #2: Always wear gloves at a crime scene. | Gibbs (to Kate): "Rule number two: Always wear gloves at a crime scene." | 1.01 - Yankee White |
| Rule #3: Don't believe what you're told. Double check. | Gibbs: "Rule number three: Don't believe what you're told, double check." Kate: "Should I write these rules in my PalmPilot or crochet them on pillows?" | 1.01 - Yankee White |
| Rule #3: Never be unreachable. | Ziva (after trying to reach McGee): "Rule number three..." Tony: "Never be unreachable." | 3.13 - Deception |
| Rule #4: The best way to keep a secret? Keep it to yourself. Second best? Tell one other person - if you must. There is no third best. | Jenny: "It's your fault you know." Gibbs: "For what, leaving or coming back?" Jenny: "For teaching me your rules. Best way to keep a secret, keep it to yourself. Second best, tell one other person... if you must. There is no third best. (walking away) That's rule number four isn't it?" | 4.14 - Blowback |
| Rule #6: Never say you're sorry. Exception to Rule #6: It's good to apologize to friends. | Gibbs (to Kate): "Never say you're sorry. (laughing) You don't have to crochet that one." Tony (to Gibbs): I broke rule #6. Never say you're sorry. Gibbs: It was covered by rule #18. Gibbs: (to Ducky) "You know how I feel about apologies Ducky." Ducky: "It's a sign of weakness." Gibbs: "Not between friends. I'm sorry Ducky." | 1.01 - Yankee White 7.12 - Flesh and Blood 4.10 - Smoked |
| Rule #7: Always be specific when you lie. | Gibbs (to Kate): "Rule number seven: Always be specific when you lie." | 1.23 - Reveille |
| Rule #8: Never take anything for granted. | Abby (to McGee): "Rule number eight is gonna save you McGee!" Tony: "Never date a co-worker? " Ziva (to Tony): "Never go anywhere without your knife. " Tony (to Ziva): "Thought that was nine." Gibbs: "Never take anything for granted." Abby (to Gibbs): "Correct El Jefe. But then again you did make up the rules." Ziva: "I assume Gibbs would have checked that out last night." Tony: "Rule number eight: Never assume anything." Ziva: "To be precise it's, ah, never take anything for granted." | 3.10 - Probie 3.17 - Ravenous |
| Rule #9: Never go anywhere without a knife. | Gibbs (while handing his knife to Tony): "Rule number nine:" Gibbs & Kate (in unison): "Never go anywhere without a knife." Tony: "Rule nine." Atlas: "What?" Tony: "Ya know those rule they teach you guys in the marine corps." Atlas: "What rules?" Tony: "Huh, I always suspected the fact that Gibbs was making that stuff up. Well... rule nine is, ah (undoing his belt), never go anywhere (pulling out his knife) without a knife." Tony: "I thought Gibbs said nine was 'always carry a knife.' | 1.13 - One Shot, One Kill 3.22 - Jeopardy |
| Rule #10: Never get personally involved in the case. | Gibbs: You okay? Tony: Not really. I broke rule number ten. Again. Never get personally involved in a case. Gibbs: Yeah. That's the rule I've always had the most trouble with. | 7.21 - Obsession |
| Rule #11: When the job is done, walk away. | Gibbs: "Rule number eleven, DiNozzo." Tony: "I would never date a co-worker boss. Trust me. I mean, why would you even—That's twelve. Eleven... when the job is done, you walk away." | 6.24- Semper Fidelis |
| Rule #12: Never date a coworker. | Kate (to Tony): "Not my style, Tony. I would just shoot you." Gibbs (just walking in): "That would be the reason for rule number twelve." Kate: "Rule twelve?" Gibbs: "Never date a co-worker." | 1.15 - Enigma |
| Rule #13: Never, ever involve a lawyer. | Tony: "Which means you've been here one day and already broken Gibbs' rule number thirteen." Dwayne: "Rule number thirteen?" Tony: "Yeah, rule number thirteen: Never, ever involve lawyers. Things are bound to turn nasty." | 6.07 - Collateral Damage |
| Rule #15: Always work as a team. | Jenny: "I heard your agents are pitted against each other. Wasn't that Gibbs' rule number fifteen? Always work as a team." Gibbs: "Not on this one." | 5.05 - Leap of Faith |
| Rule #18: It's better to seek forgiveness than ask permission. | Jenny (to Gibbs): "Number eighteen: It's better to seek forgiveness than ask permission." | 3.04 - Silver War |
| Rule #22: Never, ever bother Gibbs in interrogation. | Tony (to Ziva): "Rule number twenty-two: never, EVER bother Gibbs in interrogation." | 4.10 - Smoked |
| Rule #23: Never mess with a Marine's coffee if you want to live. | Kate (to Tony): "Maybe next time you should remember rule... twenty-three..." Marine (laughing): "Never mess with a Marine's coffee if you want to live." | 2.09 - Forced Entry |
| Rule #27: There are two ways to follow someone. First way, they never notice you. Second way, they only notice you. | 7.15 Jackknife | |
| Rule #38: Your case, your lead. | Gibbs (to Tony): "Your case, your lead. I think it's a rule." | |
| Rule #40: If you think someone is out to get you, they are. | Gibbs (to Abby): "Rule forty." Abby (to Gibbs): "If you think someone is out to get you, they are." | 7.22- Borderland |
| Rule #44: Hide the women and children. | Gibbs (to Camila Charo to tell Mike Franks): "Tell him Rule 44" Shannon (to Gibbs): "Forty-four. First things first, Hide the women and children. You're actually writing these down?" | 7.23 Patriot Down 7.24 Rule Fifty-One |
| Rule #45: Clean up your own mess. | Tony (to Gibbs): "Where are you gonna be?" Gibbs (to Tony): "At the mess I gotta clean up." Tony (whispers to Ziva): "That's 45 ... basically." | 7.24 Rule Fifty-One |
| Rule #51: Sometimes- you're wrong. | Gibbs (after reminiscing about his wife and his rules) | 7.24 Rule Fifty-One |
DiNozzo's Rules
From 4.01 - Shalom
Tony: "Let's roll. Hey, no, this is my team now, Gibbs. My rules..."
| Rule | Character: "Actual Quote" | From Episode |
| Rule #1: I don't sit on the sidelines when my people are in trouble. | Tony (to Gibbs): "Let's roll. Hey, no, this is my team now, Gibbs. My rules. And DiNozzo's rule number one is I don't sit on the sidelines when my people are in trouble. You got a problem with that? Just remember who's got a badge and who is a civilian." | 4.01 - Shalom |
| Rule #3: Never underestimate your opponent. | Tony: "He blew up a ship and put Gibbs in a coma. Rule number three: Never underestimate your opponent." McGee: "No actually, rule number three...." Tony: "DINOZZO'S rule numero tres, probay" McGee: "Gotcha!" | 3.24 - Hiatus, Part II |
| Rule #9: Never ask a woman her weight on the first date. | Tony: "You sure about that? I thought nine was 'Never ask a girl her weight on the first date.'" Kate: "Guess that depends entirely on if you want a second one or not Tony." | 1.13 - One Shot, One Kill |
Abby's Rules
From 3.22 - Jeopardy
Abby: "Not Gibbs' rules, mine."
| Rule | Character: "Actual Quote" | From Episode |
| Rule #1: Do not lie to Abby. | Abby: "What is Abby's rule number one? Do not lie to Abby." | 6.21 - Toxic |
| Rule #9: Always keep a spare. | Abby: "Bite your tongue! Rule number nine: Always keep a spare." Tony: "I thought Gibbs said nine was always carry a knife?" Abby: "Not Gibbs' rules, mine" Tony: "Hmm.." | 3.22 - Jeopardy |
| Rule #3: Don't forget Abby's birthday |
Shannon's Rules
From 6.04 - Heartland
Young Gibbs: You’ve got a rule for everything?
Shannon: Working on it. Everyone needs a code they can live by.
| Rule | Character: "Actual Quote" | From Episode |
| Rule #1 or #3: Never date a lumberjack. | Shannon (to Gibbs): "Well I have a rule. It’s either rule number one or number three: never date a lumberjack." | 6.04 - Heartland |
Franks' Rules
Explained in an interview with Shane Brennan
