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The Office - Mossad-style assault tactics on photocopiers
Much of NCIS is set in an office. I spend much of my working life in an office.
Their office seems very different from mine.
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Their office seems very different from mine.
What is it about the NCIS office
that makes it so special?
Feel free to add to the list below.
- Your office colleagues remain calm whilst you engage in Mossad-style assault tactics on the photocopier.
- Your office colleagues are in awe of your ability to take on a photocopier and win.
- Your office colleagues know that, pushed hard enough, you can kill them with a paperclip.
- Your office health and safety warden has not yet deemed paperclips a safety hazard (on grounds of being a lethal weapon).
- Your immediate senior agent gets mad at you when you play games on your computer: not because you are wasting time, but because you beat his high score.
- Your office colleagues are jealous when the big boss kisses you on the head and tells you he favours you best.
- Your boss resolves bitchy disputes quickly and simply: by whacking everyone involved on the head.
- Your boss' line manager does not object to this direct-action approach to team discipline.
- Your boss' line manager is able to call on the US Secretary of State, in order to get past the nurse at the emergency ward.
- Your boss' line manager actually cares enough about your team leader to rush to the hospital from a White House Ball, when he is injured at work.
- Your boss' glare hits you in the face before you even get out of the elevator because he knows you forgot his coffee.
- Your Boss has this creepy 6th sense to know everything that you've only just found out.
- Your work is so cool that 'injured at work' means getting knocked unconscious whilst trying to outwit a terrorist(and not a bruised knee from tripping over a torn piece of carpet in the storeroom)
- Your work is so cool that, when you need to hide out from the bosses, your team holds secret meetings using a dissection table in an autopsy room.
- Your work is so cool that, in summer when it is ragingly hot outside, you can go to super-air-conditioned basement autopsy room to enjoy the extra airconditioning awarded to corpses.
- Your work is so cool that you get to use a web cam the size of a cinema screen in the MTAC, with technicians on hand, just to operate the buttons for you.
- Your work is so cool that you don't use words, you use acronyms: but these are acronyms that the whole world knows (CIA, FBI, NSA...)
- Your work is so cool that when you have been very good the big boss buys you continual drinks or gives you a devotional head slap, just because he can.
- Your work is so cool that you can conduct an investigation over a missing cupcake... with an entire forensics lab at your disposal.
- Your colleagues are so smart that they always work out the answer to the problem.
- Your colleagues are so smart that they notice everything.
- Your colleagues are so smart that they can read the bosses' mind.
- Your colleagues are so smart that they (usually) end up alive when all around them are people falling over with bullets in them.
- Your colleagues are so smart, they don't have to follow the dress code.
- Your colleagues are so smart, they hate lawyers.
- Your boss is so smart that he can read your mind just by looking at you.
- Your boss is so smart that he can read a Klingon's mind, just by looking at him, although it will take 40 minutes.
- Your boss is so smart that he can build a boat in a basement and get it out without anyone else knowing how.
- Your boss is so smart that he does not bother to follow fashion.
- Your boss is so smart that he can fix computers by hitting them.
- Your boss is so smart that he can sneak up on people without them knowing he is there.
- Your boss is so smart that he knows what you said about him even when he wasn't in the room.
- Your boss is so smart that he knows when to back off and just let you recover from the latest trauma.
- Your boss is so smart that he knows when to pounce and push you forward, even though you are scared.
- Your boss is so smart that he can stare you into a nervous trance, before he's even reached his desk for the day.
- Your boss is so smart that he can appear from an elevator the moment you discover something.
- Your boss is so smart that he doesn't follow rules, he makes his own.
- Your latest office colleague is a whizz at computers and rectifies an IT problem at the drop of a hat.
- Your latest office colleague is so phobic about germs that you can scare her by faking a sneeze..while everyone else watches in awe at her obsessive behaviour.
- Your latest office colleague is the Director of an international federal agency and he has the authority, in an instant, to totally rearrange your future working life. Awesome boss power (Director Vance in last ep of Season 5 exercises this power).
- Sometimes your office is on a warship.
- Sometimes your office is a crime scene.
- Sometimes your office is the set for witty repartee with CIA team leaders who just love to pointscore against your boss.
- Sometimes your office is: up a flight of stairs that, secretly, when no one is looking, you want to slide down the stair rails.
- Sometimes your office is an elevator on emergency stop.
- Sometimes your office is an autopsy lab.
- Sometimes your office is a five-star hotel where you are pretending to be married to one of your co-workers.
- When your colleagues say they have a dental appointment, they might actually be going undercover on a top secret mission.
- When your colleagues say "I bought you a present with my tax return", they have bought everyone a top of the line MP3 player.
- When your colleagues say happy birthday, they do it with black roses.
- Your colleagues, although confused, are never scared when you start to speak geek.
- Making death threats to co-workers is acceptable.
- The uniforms actually look good.
- There is a corporate uniform for funerals, a corporate uniform for crime scenes but no actual uniform for when you are in the office.
- The rest of the world is not allowed to sell your uniform to the public (NCIS baseball caps are supposedly limited to real NCIS agents) (and actors).
- If you fluff your witty remark you can do it again until you get it right.
- Your boss is Gibbs and Ducky is your colleague and friend.
- Your immeddiate senior field agent (who usually makes merciless jokes at your expense) stands quietly by in the autopsy room as you say your goodbyes to your former female co-worker (Kate) whom your new female co-worker(Ziva)' s half-brother (Ari) killed.
- It is considered perfectly normal for everyone in your office to have multiple weapons with them at all times... no exceptions.
- When your colleagues say who farted? Noone gets upset because it was only the hippo.
- It is expected that you will be framed for a crime at least once.
- the office allows you to bring a knife in the work place.
- Your boss actually encourages you to threaten and/or intimidate people
- The "private conference room" is an elevator on emergnency stop.
- Sometimes, your office is the flight deck of an an aircraft carrier (how cool can it get ? )
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, Oct 13 2009, 6:46 PM EDT
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|hoorooblue||If only my office were like theirs...||3||Sep 30 2008, 6:54 PM EDT by DragonFaith|
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