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Signs of Serious NCIS Addiction - NCIS

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You Know you are seriously addicted to NCIS when:

  • Your computer malfunctions and you're looking around for McGee to fix it.
  • The television network shows a promo for a re-screen and you can name episode title AND number.
  • You wander the convenience stores hoping to find Caff-Pow.
  • You have an overwhelming desire to head slap anyone who ticks you off
  • You find yourself scanning bookstore shelves for a copy of "Deep Six"
  • You find yourself calling the office junior 'Probie'
  • You see everywhere someone who reminds you of an NCIS character, you could swear they were their double, when they're probably nothing like them!
  • You actually consider a spider web tattoo on your neck
  • You begin building a boat in your basement just like the one Gibbs has
  • You super-glued your co-worker's fingers to his keyboard and then left the room
  • You look on the Internet for a Mighty Mouse stapler
  • You postpone needed surgery because you might still be under when the show comes on
  • You ask a bunch of nuns if you can bowl with them
  • You take to drinking strong black sugarless pop by the gallon
  • You teeter on impossible stilettos
  • You confuse English expressions
  • You start talking to any dead creature
  • You talk to your PC, CD player, TV and all other forms of technology in your life
  • You hold conferences with your neighbours in the lift in your block of flats
  • You drive at breakneck speed ignoring traffic and traffic signs
  • You take to wearing a dog collar with studs or spikes instead of pearl necklaces
  • You dye your hair red
  • You're convinced your life will be complete if only you can obtain a farting hippo stuffed toy that you can name Bart
  • You dye your hair black and wear it in pigtails
  • You become a Goth
  • You start wearing black lipstick
  • You have a penchant for long winded stories
  • Your catchphrase becomes "D'ya think?" or "On it boss!"
  • You write novels using your workmates as your source of inspiration
  • You get into forensic science
  • Your favourite hat is a bright orange beanie
  • You only notice young men who wear Italian designer label suits/footwear or silver-haired blue-eyed men who buy their clothes from Sears
  • You start referring to water cooler gossip as 'scuttlebutt'
  • You refer to the loo/restroom as the 'head' -- and you were never in the Navy
  • You talk about 'zulu time'
  • You 'profile' any potential friend/boyfriend/girlfriend/customer/neighbour
  • You insist that the second B in your name stands for 'B******' - even if your name doesn't have a B in it!
  • You can eat cold pizza without your stomach churning
  • You can go on a frat holiday to Panama Beach
  • You have frat brothers even if you haven't the foggiest what that is
  • You start threatening people that bug you that you'll kill them 18 different ways with a paper clip, if they don't shut up.
  • Take to calling men 'skirt chasers'
  • Seriously look into getting color-contacts and try to copy the exact tint of Gibbs' eyes. [or which ever character floats your boat.]
  • You give up sunbathing to get that alabaster coloured skin
  • You sleep with a gun under your pillow
  • You give your lover honey dust
  • You take a liking to the smell of sawdust
  • You have problems using chopsticks when eating Chinese take-away
  • The idea of building a boat in your basement, even though you will have no way to get it out of the basement when completed without demolishing several walls, seems like a sane, rational, intelligent thing to do.
  • Drinking bourbon neat becomes your favourite tipple
  • You give up watching the 6 Nations Cup (rugby) to watch baseball
  • Get your partner to wear comfortable loafers instead of Doc Martens
  • You start addressing people, particularly men, by their surname, dropping the 'mister' entirely.
  • You connect with kids when before you'd have run a mile
  • You become versed in ballistics
  • You become fascinated by military acronyms
  • You begin calling your boss "Director"
  • You call wild drivers "Zivas"
  • You discover you can instill fear in people simply by glaring at them
  • When a friend asks for support you say 'on your six'
  • You think the FBI is inefficient
  • You consider you and your lover having a quickie at the local morgue
  • You begin to wonder what sex in an armoured personnel carrier would be like.
  • You suddenly like men dressed in Gunnery Sergeant uniforms with or without the cover (cap/hat)
  • You want your kids/lover/partner to carry a GPS chip about their person so they can be located at any time
  • You become a bomb disposal expert
  • You consider renaming your children/grandchildren Jethro and Abby
  • You spend most of your time reading/writing NCIS Fiction on Fan Fiction.Net. (guilty!)
  • You buy DVD copies of movies that have NCIS cast members in, even though they are movies you wouldn't normally watch. (guilty!)
  • You spend another large amount of your time reading NCIS Fiction on Fan Fiction.Net and NCISArchive.Net
  • You get DVD copies of shows with NCIS cast members even if you don't like the shows
  • You rout You Tube for interviews/snippets of said cast
  • You're favourite car is a sedan
  • You have several duplicate mobiles/cellphones in case you break one
  • You have a new respect for the Israeli Army--especially the female members
  • You call the outsourced staff at your office 'liaison' workers
  • And if your big boss is female you address her as Madam, Director, or Ma'am
  • You refer to a stethoscope as a 'Rubber Ducky'
  • The randy smart-aleck male in your office is nicknamed DiNozzo
  • You start calling your husband/significant other My little hairy butt.
  • You ask your husband/significant other to call you Sweetcheeks instead of honey or babe.
  • You head slap everyone close to you who says/does something annoying.
  • You start acting out your fav scenes in your fav episodes
  • You call your friends/family NCIS characters
  • Any long winded speaker or who frequently goes off at a tangent is affectionately called a Ducky
  • You begin to use "Elf Lord" as a pet name for your significant other (I don't currently have one, but I can assure you it's my new favorite pet name)
  • You want to buy an old fashioned typewriter, regardless of whether or not you actually write
  • You hope to take up knife-throwing in the near future
  • You look for "Lo Ball" CDs in every electronics section you visit and online stores like Amazon.com (guilty!)
  • You don't mind starting work at 7 in the morning (I'm usually in the office at 0630... what does that make me?)
  • Having your weekend date interrupted to do some urgent work
  • You comment 'nice cover' to an elderly gentleman wearing an NCIS hat. He proceeds to inform you that it is not merely a prop, but one he received from his daughter who is an NCIS agent! You are thoroughly impressed and want to ask if she has another. (Thanks for letting us play in the TV version of your world, NCIS. Stay safe.)
  • You go to work with a cold and when co-workers suggest that you see a doctor you look for Ducky.
  • You start looking for DiNozzo, Kate, Gibbs and Col. Mann when you see service members in uniform. (And DiNozzo among the Village People!)
  • You hit the Internet/library to find out what poison ivy looks like because you don't want to end up like poor McGee. (You also find the proportions for the baking soda/vinegar paste, and/or keep a bottle of calamine lotion with you at all times, just in case.)
  • Your reason for never getting a cold is because no virus/germ/bug would dare to even get near you - 'cos if Gibbs can get away with it, so can you
  • You try to imitate Gibbs' glare when people don't do what you want when you want in the way you want.
  • You get really excited when you find out you grew up in the same town Mark Harmon's father was from!
  • Every time you see a Dodge Charger, you look inside expecting to see Gibbs, Tony, McGee, and Ziva in the car.
  • You get a mini and drive Ziva-style (like a maniac)

MORE . . .