NCIS Quotes Season 6 |

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Season 6 Cast Photo


Episode 6.01 "Last Man Standing"

Langer : Four months I’ve been sitting here fielding calls for DiNozzo, and I swear, they’re all women.
Lee: And that surprises you?
Lee: Morning Sir.
Langer: Morning Sir.
Keating: Morning Sir.
Gibbs: So glad we all agree on something.
Gibbs: What have I told you about calling me sir?
Langer: It'll get better.
Lee: Yeah, when he retires.
Ducky: Tell Agent Gibbs he can send in the B team.
Gibbs: That implies there's an A Team, Duck.
Ducky: Isn't there?
Gibbs: They're all A Teams.
Ducky: Perhaps some even A+

Abby (after Gibbs appears behind her): Why didn’t I hear the elevator?
Gibbs: The stairs.
Abby: You are taking the stairs; because you associate the elevator with people you’re trying to forget.
Gibbs: Abby I'm not trying to forget anybody.

Gibbs: Anything else?
Abby: A Number (holds up post it)
Gibbs: One Two Six?
Abby:One hundred and twenty six. That is the number of days that Tony, McGee and Ziva have been gone. I really didn't think you'd let it get into triple digits Gibbs. But now it's way more. It's like a third of a whole year. I miss them.
Gibbs: Abby, you had lunch with McGee yesterday.
Abby: It's not the same. I miss them collectively. As a group. My three musketeers.
Abby (To Gibbs): You have ten days, okay I don’t want to pressure you so 12, but no more than two weeks…and stop taking the stairs.
Tech guy: Still working on it Boss.
Gibbs (from behind): Boss?
McGee (turns around surprised): Boss!
Gibbs: We miss you Ziva.
Ziva: I miss you too, all of you, even Tony.
Leon: Whoever was blackmailing Vargo was an NCIS agent
Gibbs (sternly): Not one of my mine.
Leon: Langer, made the jump to NCIS 8 months ago from the FBI.
Gibbs: He got no special treatment.
Leon: But you did recommend him.
Gibbs: He called me.
Leon: You endorsed him.
Gibbs: A doubt? I've got a doubt about everyone of them. I've got a former FBI guy who doesn't listen. A boy genius who doesn't drive. I have a lawyer who doesn't shoot!
Gibbs: So what, four months, you've got nothing.
Vance: We've got nothing.
McGee: Boss, I’m sorry, he made it very clear to me that I couldn't talk to anyone except for him.
Gibbs: Wouldn’t have stopped you in the past.
McGee: Well it s not the same; we were a team, I would give this up in a heartbeat to be working with you and Ziva again.
Gibbs: And DiNozzo?
McGee: Yeah, him too.
McGee: Got something here boss.
Gibbs (sarcastically): Want to call Vance?
Tony: "McGoo. It's true. TV really does add 10 pounds. You been hitting the jelly doughnuts again? How do I look?"

McGee: "First the USS Ronald Reagan and now the Seahawk. How's life afloat?"
Tony (puts on a piratical Oirish voice): "Ah, life in the ocean blue, me hearties. If the scurvy don't get you, the pox will. And tell me this, me little McShipmate, how is that scurrilous blackhearted pirate king of ours, Captain One-shot Gibbs?"
Gibbs: "I'm just fine, DiNozzo"
(Tony Gibbs slaps himself) Tony: There ya go Boss

Gibbs: "Got work to do"
Tony: "I'm on it boss. What am I on, McGee?"

McGee: "Are you alone?"
Tony (incredulous, with a background shot of a busy radio-shore coms room with lots of sailors phoning home): "Oh yeah. Just me and 5000 of my closest friends. I AM NEVER ALONE." (He leans forward and whispers) "I really need to come home, boss."
Gibbs: "Workin' on it."

Tony (Laughs and says LOUDLY): "Dad!, ohhh, This is why I don't want Tim drivin' my car. I told Tim that that's my car and...it's is not a family car, it's my car." Tony leans forward and whispers to the camera "I don't like the cut of your jib McGee. This sounds suspiciously like illegal activity and ...well...a man of my delicate disposition is not suited to that kind of thing."
McGee: "Don't be such a girl, alright?"

Tony: "Alright, open to search page." (He looks around, and leans into the camera and whispers) "Is this hacking McGee? Are we hacking?"
McGee emphatically: "It's not hacking."
Tony: "But it is illegal, right? Don't answer that. I know its illegal. I'm having fun."
McGee: (To Gibbs) He's insane
Gibbs: Oh yeah!

McGee: "What do you see?"
Tony: "A short life. Yours, if I get caught."

Tony: "Great. Next stop, Gitmo. I got a hit."

McGee to Tony: "Thank you, Tony. Look after yourself. Don't fall overboard, okay?"
Tony, looks left and right, then mutters: "More likely to jump."
Gibbs: "DiNozzo!"
Tony, puzzled: "Pa?"
Gibbs: "Take care of yourself."
Tony (looks around) "Miss you too, Dad"
McGee: I never thought I'd say this and actually mean it, but It’s good to see you Tony
Tony: I miss you too Probie.
Gibbs: So he was sleeping?
Ducky: There are other reasons why men take their clothes off before getting into bed, Jethro.
Gibbs: Any evidence of that Duck?
Palmer: Well he did come to a sticky end!
Tony (To Gibbs and McGee) : Well its been great talking with you Pa, thanks Tim, you know I love you guys…just Tim is always messing my stuff up, he doesn’t know how to shift gears; he doesn’t change the oil; make sure you feed the chickens, say Hi to mom.

McGee (in reference to Tony): He's insane.
Gibbs (smiling): Oh yeah.

Lee: Probably never thought much of me as a lawyer.
Gibbs: That's more the profession than the person.
(Lee's phone rings, she silences it.)
Gibbs: Might be important.
Lee: It can wait.
Abby: I'm so excited McGee. I can't believe it. Pinch me.
(He does.)
Abby: Oow! (Playfully hits him back.)
(Abby turns to Gibbs.)
Abby: Thank you.

Episode 6.02 "Agent Afloat"
McGee: It’s gonna be tough.
Ziva: You think it’s hard for us. Image what it feels like to be him.
McGee: Who him?
Ziva: Tony! We’re all here and he’s stuck on that ship.
McGee: Not Tony. I meant…
Ziva: Completely alone, away from all those who care about him. (pauses) Wait? You weren’t talking about Tony?
McGee: No.

Ziva: It’s freezing in here.
McGee: After four months in the sub-basement, this is cozy. It’s like march of the Penguins down there.

Ziva: Looks like we found the murder weapon. Toy guitar?
McGee: That is not a toy guitar. That is a guitar controller. Used to play Lords of Rock, video game. That particular model is called an axe.
Ziva: So our killer is an axe murderer.

(in response to Ziva and Gibbs analyzing the crime scene)
McGee: I’m sure I would have figured that out eventually.
Ziva: You spent way to much time in the cyber unit. Your crime scene skills are getting a bit dusty.
McGee: Rusty.

Ducky:…suggesting that the blows were delivered—
McGee: Post-mortem. (Looks at Gibbs) Right?
Gibbs smiles.

McGee: Don’t worry Abs. Tony’s deployment will be over soon. Maybe they’ll transfer him back.
Abby: Not maybe McGee. Definitely.

Director Vance: Agent DiNozzo has three more months on the Seahawk. After that we’ll look for the right fit.
Gibbs: He fits right here.

Dr. Nguyễn : Yeah well because of you I have to fill out a report every time I dispense an aspirin.
Tony: That must be such a headache.

Dr. Nguyễn : The man who went overboard?
Tony: Yeah that’d be him genius.
Dr. Nguyễn : You’ve already seen these records.
Tony: And that’s the wacky nature of these cases. They’re sort of like cheap luggage. You think they’re closed and then BAM! You hit a curb, lose a wheel and they open up all over again.

Gibbs: McGee!
McGee: I’m trying boss.
Gibbs: Just pull up his service record.
McGee: Keating changed all my macros. My key board short cuts… Alright I’m pulling it up on the plasma screen.
Ziva: Should we have Keating sent up from the cyber unit.

Ziva: Which may have led to martial problems.
Gibbs: Or murder. I’m going to talk to DiNozzo and the Seahawk.
Abby: Tony? When? Now? Can I talk to him? Please Gibbs I just want to tell him that Sister Rosita bowled a 260 last month and—
Gibbs: Abby, it’s not a social call.
(Gibbs stops short and Ziva runs into him.)
Gibbs: Ziva.
Ziva: Want me to join you?
(Gibbs gives her a look.)

(Gets the information to appear on the plasma)
McGee: Boss! Yes. Boss. I got it!
(looks around, and Gibbs is already gone)

Tony: Hey boss, you talk to Vance?
Gibbs: No I’m talking to you.
Tony: Come on you got to get me off this ship. You have any idea what it’s like to be the only cop on board a city of 5000?
(Gibbs laughs)
Tony: Well of of course you do. But just in case you forgot. It sucks!

Tony: Nothing that screams I’m going to kill my wife and jump overboard. Well it’s pretty obvious what happened right? Evans kills his wife before he leaves, joins the ship, feels he can’t live with what he’s done and then he jumps overboard. Which is what I’m going to do if I don’t get off this ship soon!

Vance: You didn’t read these files did you?
Gibbs: Like I said. Two good men.
Vance: Your choice?
Gibbs: DiNozzo. You sent Ziva to Israel to follow a lead. You sent McGee to the basement to crack a code. There is no reason to assign DiNozzo to a carrier.
Vance: Seven years as an agent. I figured it was about time.
Gibbs: You think he screwed the pooch in LA. That it? You sent him to see to punish him, Leon?
Vance: Your choice is noted.

McGee: Agent Gibbs desk.
Tony: McGee?
McGee: Tony, back on dry land.
Tony: Yeah, it’s a tropical paradise really. Just like the Blue Lagoon, except no white sand beaches, magical waterfall and definitely no Brooke Shields.
McGee: I’ve got some good news for you.
Tony: You’re coming to relieve me.
McGee: No, but Vance sent—
Tony: Tequila? Cause I’m going to need at least a case to get through the next three months here.
Vance (comes up behind McGee): Is that DiNozzo? (Vance turns the speaker phone on.)
Tony: …Everybody hates me. You know what you better make it two cases. With Director Vance running things I’m going to be agent afloat-ing into my sixties. How’s it going there anyway?
Vance: Oh couldn’t be better DiNozzo.
Tony: Ah, Director Vance…I was just um, telling McGee how much I missed everyone.

McGee: Yeah, Tony that’s what I was trying to tell you.
Tony: Well when do they get here!?
Gibbs (from behind Tony): Already have.

McGee: Denied again.
Abby: Didn’t they teach you anything down there in Cyber-ville?
(Look from McGee)
Abby: No cyber jokes. Got it.

Abby: Well, Ducky was right. It’s snot.
McGee: It’s not what?
Abby: It’s snot.
McGee: It’s not?
Abby: Yeah, it is.
McGee: Not what?
(Abby gives McGee a look)
Abby: Snot. The substance found in Lindsey Evans hair. It’s snot.
McGee: Well why didn’t you just say that?

Abby: Timmy got new skills!
McGee: Was a long four months.
Abby (looks at her count-up and picture of Tony): It still is McGee.

Tony: Let me guess. You guys caught a bad case of DiNozzo-itis and had Vance send you down south.
Ziva: DiNozzo-itis, sounds venereal.
Tony: Okay, don’t admit it. I know you missed me. I missed you Boss.

(Ziva gives Tony her long stare.)
Tony: What?
Ziva: You seem, um…different.
Tony: Taller? Hotter?
Ziva: Older.
Tony: Well, it’s been over four months.
Ziva: You still beating yourself up over Jenny?
Tony: (looks away from Ziva) Not as much as I used to.
Ziva: Drinking?
Tony: Not as much as I used to.
(Ziva touches his shoulder to get him to look at her)
Ziva: You could have called.

Tony: Okay, I was thinking we should let Ziva handle the coroner. I’ve got a hunch.
Gibbs: Got a hunch huh?
Tony: The powers of observation.

(Fighter jet takes off making a really loud noise, causing Ziva to cover her ears)
Captain: You get used to it.
Tony: No you don’t.

Ziva: Is this where you have been the past months?
Tony: Yes. It’s just like the squad room only I’m the squad and there’s no room.

(Ziva and Tony go to leave and Ziva notices the pictures of her in her bathing suit tacked to a tack board.)
Ziva: What are those doing on your wall?
Tony: How…how did those get there?
(walking ship)
Ziva: McGee was specifically told to destroy those pictures.
Tony: I guess he forgot.
Ziva: Then perhaps I should remind him.
Tony: Go easy on the lad. He’s had a rough summer.
Ziva: Well, we all have.

Gibbs: You got a B-Plan DiNozzo?
Tony: B…bb…B-Plan? Plan B? Be prepared. Of course I have a plan be. What kind of agent afloat would I be if I didn’t have a Plan-B? You…you gotta have a Plan-B. I’m all about Plan-B.
(Phone rings, Tony answers)
Tony: Plan-A. They found him.

Tony: I hate it when you don’t know what you’re looking for, but it might kill you if you find it.

Tony: Hell of a Co-winki-dink.
Ziva: What’s a quink-a-dink?
(Tony gives Ziva a look.)
Tony: Coincidence.
Ziva: You believe this is a Co-wink-a-quink?
Tony: Sarcasm Ziva. We’re back in America. Flip the switch.
Ziva: Well technically we are not.
Tony: American ship, American soil. Oh, American soil.
Ziva: Enough already. You have three more months. What’s the big deal?
Tony: Easy for you to say.
Ziva: What’s that supposed to mean?
Tony: You’re back in DC, which is what you wanted.
(Ziva has a look cross her face, she looks away)
Tony: Isn’t it?
Ziva: You get orders Tony. You may not like them, but you follow them. That’s why they’re called orders.
Tony: That’s not what I asked. Something happened in Israel didn’t it? You’ll say you didn’t want to talk about it, but your eyes won’t shut up. Something you left behind maybe? Or someone?
Ziva: You’re right. I don’t want to talk about it.

Abby: Gibbs, after a major whiny little temper tantrum Mr. Major Mass Spec got his act in order.

Abby: McGee what’s up? I heard Vance sent you back to the sub-basement.
McGee: No I sent myself back to the sub-basement.
Abby: So what’s next? Sending Ziva back to Israel?

Tony: Almost there boss.
Gibbs: That’s what you said ten minutes ago.
Ziva: What is the problem Tony?
Tony: There is no problem Ziva. I’ve seen McGee do this a million times.
Ziva: A million times faster.

Tony: Where the hell are they?
Ziva: Should I call McGee?
Tony: Only if you want to be bored to death with him explaining what I have just done.
(gets the screen to come up with what he wants.)
Gibbs: Narrow it.
Tony: I’m trying. Just waiting for my next insult
Ziva: It takes McGee only seconds.

Tony: COV's leaving in ten minutes boss.
Gibbs: Well then grab your gear.
Tony: My gear?
Gibbs: Yeah. You’re heading home DiNozzo.
Tony: Home?
Ziva: Home.
Tony (takes off running): Make a hole! Coming through!

Gibbs: The team needs him Leon.
Vance: I’ve already made my decision. And in answer to your question. It was never punishment.

Abby (crushing Tony in a hug): Tony. You’re back!
Tony: In the flesh.
Abby: For real? Like total real? Like pinky promise permanent real?
Tony: Reassigned to DC, effective immediately.
McGee: Never thought I’d say this Tony, but it’s nice to have you back.
Abby: Nice? It’s like spectacular. I kept every one of your postcards and I have a whole DiNozzo wall.
Tony: It was a long four months and it’s great to be back, not that I didn’t think I wasn’t coming back…
Abby (cutting him off): So anyway sister Rosita bowled a 260. And I watched Titanic finally…


Episode 6.03 "Capitol Offense"
Abby: It looks scrumptious.
Ziva: They call it choc-a-holic’s choice. Claim it is the ultimate cupcake.
McGee: Ahh, that smells great.
Abby: (slaps at Tony’s hand) Don’t you dare.
Tony: Isn’t this the week you’re going gluten free?
Abby: (hugs Ziva) Thank you Ziva. You should have.
Ziva: I owe you for letting me sleep at your place.
Tony: Slumber party! You two spent the night together? What’s going on here McGee.
McGee: Don’t know, don’t care. None of my business, DiNosey.
Ziva: You are such a control geek.
Tony: Freak.
Ziva: Yes that too. Why do you always need to know everything that everybody does?

Tony: So you stayed at Abs last night huh? You guys sleep in the same room?
Ziva: It is a one bedroom apartment.
Tony: One bedroom, one bed, one coffin.
Ziva: You want the truth?
Tony: Yeah I think I can handle the truth.
Ziva: My building was being fumigated and Abby was kind enough to let me stay over on the couch in my pajamas.
Tony: Come on work with me a bit.

Tony hold up lace underwear, Ziva turns around and sees him.
Ziva: Tony, what are you doing?
Tony: I’m building a profile of the victim.

Ziva: You just love snooping around into other peoples' lives don’t you?
Tony: Yeah that why I became a cop.

Vance: (comes halfway down the stairs and stares at Gibbs) Got a minute.
(Gibbs silently joins him.)
Tony: So what’s up with El Hefe? Yesterday he leaves the crime scene with no explanation. Today he knew the Admiral had a problem with the victim. Where’d he get that?
McGee: Maybe he’s bluffing.
Tony: Un-un. It was on the nose.
Ziva: Who’s nose?
Tony: On the money. Bulls eye. Right as rain. You were doing better before you went back to Israel. You’ve reverted.
(Ziva gives Tony a look and clicks the pointer she’s holding in his face.)

McGee: Director Vance I’ll need the password to your voicemail account.
Vance: (writes it down) For your eyes only.
McGee: Yes, sir.
Vance: And the messages from my wife, not for your ears.

Vance: I’m going to need to be kept in the loop on this.
Gibbs: I’ve been on this case less than twenty-four hours. When I get something concrete I will let you know.

Gibbs: Abby what are you doing?
Abby: A boundary has been cross. I’ve been violated. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Gibbs: Yeah? Tell me.
Abby: Someone stole my cupcake.

Abby: There is a thief amongst us and I’m going to find out who and they’re going to be sorry.
Gibbs: Do you think you could pull yourself away from this long enough to focus on the murder?
Abby: She reads her horoscope every day, as do I. Today it said I was going to have a positive encounter with a co-worker. Not going to happen.

Tony: …but my source at the Pentagon says he’s still a player.
Ziva: Who is your source?
Tony: Jerry the barber.
Ziva: (half laughs) A barber?
Tony: Yeah. … Barbers, manicurist, shoe shine guys, they’re invisible. People talk in front of them like they’re not even there.

Gibbs: (slams his desk drawer and grabs his coat) No one leaves here until I get back.
Tony: Okay, now I’m officially curious.

McGee: There must be hundreds of those in the Metro area.
Abby: Twelve hundred and sixty-seven, open your mouth.
McGee: What? Why?
Abby: I need a DNA swab.
McGee: What’s this about.
Ziva: Someone stole her cupcake.
McGee: No, this is an invasion of privacy.
Abby: McGee I will get your DNA one way or another.
Tony: Do what the woman says. She sleeps in a coffin.
Abby: (takes swab) Thanks. (turns to Tony) You’re next.

Abby: You cannot have my cupcake and eat it too.
Gibbs: You’re not serious?
Abby: Dead.

Ducky: I can give you a preliminary cause of death.
Gibbs: Asphyxiation.
Ducky: Well, yes, it is rather obvious isn’t it? Would you care to venture the time of death?
Gibbs: A little after ten this morning.
Ducky: I’m not feeling very needed.

Vance: You got an opinion?
Gibbs: It doesn’t feel right. We were handed the gun and the confession. It was too easy.

McGee: Hey. You looking for me Tony?
Abby: No, I am. Do you think I’m an idiot.
McGee: No.
Abby: What you thought I wouldn’t figure it out?
McGee: What is she talking about?
Ziva: The cupcake.
Abby: You stole it from my refrigerator. I have forensic evidence. You’re big fat finger print.
McGee: Oh come on you think I’m that stupid? Look if I was going to steel your precious cupcake I would not leave a fingerprint on your refrigerator.
Abby: You didn’t. You used latex gloves. Brand new box McGee. Only prints, mine and yours.
McGee: You said you were going gluten free.
Abby: Where is it McGee.
McGee: I was saving you from yourself Abby.
Abby: Where did you save it McGee?
McGee: Okay, I ate it. It was late, I hadn’t eaten since lunch, the machine in the break room was empty and it looked so good.
Tony: (hugs McGee) What were you thinking McGee? She’s a world class forensic scientist. (Head slaps him)
Ziva: I bought the cupcake for Abby. (Ziva head slaps him)
Abby: So, how was it?
McGee: It was life changing.

Vance: Would have appreciated the heads up before the arrest.
Gibbs: You covered good. Trust. Loyalty. They’re important.
Vance: Guess you know all about that after today. How do you think we’re going to do in that department?


Episode 6.04 "Heartland"
Jackson Gibbs: "Tell a boy he touch your rifle, he ends up being a sniper."

Tony: In all the time looking at computer screens, you never once peeked at the man's file?

Ducky: From Motz Art to mayhem...

Tony: My mind is spinning with questions, I mean have you ever thought about it? He actually came somewhere, he didn’t just appear you know? He didn’t just start Gibbs, he was a boy and then he grew...
Ziva: I thought he was molded from clay and had breath breathed into him by mystics.

Tony: He was sent to be the left hand of Yahweh...

Ziva: He burst forth full grown from the mind of Zeus.

Jackson: He spent all his time out in he garage working on some project...we didnt even have electricity out there
McGee (whispering to Ziva): I can see it

Jackson: Let that be a lesson in parenting...tell a kid you cant have a rifle and he ends up a sniper.

Jackson: Everybody’s always lying to you all the time, cant you ever take things as you see them
Gibbs: I see people lying to me
Jackson: You were such a happy child

Jackson: In fact we haven’t talked since the funeral, I adored that wife of yours and I adored that child too. I always figured it was Shannon who sent me the Christmas cards…

Jackson: Leroy, what did I do at the fneral?
Gibbs: You mean other than showing up with a date?
Jackson: I always thought that your mom and I had a love story for the ages, I never regretted giving up the skies, working underground everyday in the mines, I wanted to give you that white picket fence dream.
Gibbs: And you did

Jackson: When your Mother died, I know how mad that made you, I know how you hated me for getting on with my life..i saw the look in your face, how you wanted vengeance…That look went away when you met Shannon, but it came back quick after they died…I know what that meant, you were gonna fnd someone to take it out on…didn’t matter what I said…
Gibbs: It never did…what do you see now?

Jackson (To Abby): I mean it's a wonder Leroy gets any work done, surrounded by such beautiful women...

Jackson: I know you hate it when I use a hundred words when a few will do, but give us a call some times
Gibbs: It’s the least I could do
Jackson: Goodbye son.
Gibbs (embracing him) Bye Dad

Gibbs: Are you waiting for the train too?
Shannon: Yes
Gibbs: We could sit together.

Gibbs: Do you have a rule for everything?
Shannon: Working on it...everyone needs a code they can live by...

Shannon: What's your name?
Gibbs: Leroy Jethro Gibbs
Shannon: I'm just gonna call you Gibbs
Gibbs: You can call me whatever you want
Shannon: I'm Shannon
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