If you enjoy this proverbs page, you might also enjoy the Haiku page and the CinQuain page (Equally short and pithy NCIS statements).



Never underestimate your mother in law, even if you are a sniper. (Mother's Day)

Keep your loved ones close, your enemy closer and that long-haired lawyer on the tightest leash imaginable. (Any episode with M Allison Hart)

Always keep an eagle eye on what Ducky selects to wear as his tie. (Double Identity)

All murder is evil, unless it is Gibbs, his mother-in-law, his ex-boss or his ex-lover engaged on a totally meritorious act of revenge (Any episode where Gibbs, Mike Franks, Joanna Fielding or Director Shepard have arranged for a villain who murdered a loved one to, in turn, die by violence).

When you take a bullet to the vest, stay down and rest. It might save your life. (Twilight)

If you leave the door open, the iguana might come in. (Minimum Security)

Never trust a politician, even if he is an ex-Marine (New Gibbs proverb after Capitol Offense).

Raise your daughter to be a killer so that your grandaughter is free to be a pacifist. (Director David's proverb, in his Mossad diary).

Never mess with the family, and Gibbs' team is family (Abby Proverb, which she inscribed on the windscreen of Director Vance's car, after first disabling the CCTV cameras in the parking lot at the Navy Yard). (What episode is this?)

Never mess with silver-haired snipers.

If you think Gibbs' wrath is something to fear, CBS' wrath over spoilers will melt your eyebrows.

Look not for spoilers in the NCIS wiki universe, for anticipation is the delight of the happy soul.

If she is good looking, a doctor, and Ducky is attracted to her, then she is 99 per cent certain to be the villain.

It is OK to look like a goof-off, so long as you are actually hard-working underneath (DiNozzo proverb).

A steel - eyed stare is worth a thousand nagging words.

We may not believe in coincidence, but we do believe in bad luck, and, when it comes to choosing red-haired wives, serial bad judgement.

With Gibbs, your secret will be safe, but you will know that he knows, and he will know that you know that he knows, and he will know that you will do what he wants, without him even having to say anything because he knows your secret. (If you are going to crochet this proverb on a pillow, buy an extra large pillow).

Two negatives can make a positive but two positives never make a negative. (Yeah, right).

Some people are born great, some people have greatness thrust upon them... and some people are DiNozzo.

Human lie detectors come in nice packages, silver wrapping, and are called "Gibbs".

A slap to the head is a wake-up call, but a slap to the face is an insult.

Do not believe in coincidence, but do not dismiss bad luck.

He who hesitates has a long time in heaven to ponder the choice they ought to have made.

When choosing a password to the tree house of life, "Semper Fi" will do nicely.

Only cowards attack when someone is down, but only fools confuse "down" with "out".

A hero is someone who has the opportunity to take advantage of an innocent... and doesn't take it.

No pressure, no diamonds.

Opportunity is often missed, because it is dressed in overalls and looks like hard work.
Tony's talent is often missed because it is dressed in a Hawaiian shirt and looks like fun.

Wannabees "box" but marines "fight".

McGee theory of success: exploitation of co-workers is not exploitation so long as you remain in denial about the inspiration for the characters in your novel.

The heart that protects itself from future pain, protects itself from current love.

If you insist on NCIS, you kiss away boredom.

It is better to seek forgiveness than ask permission.

Ask not what the boat in the basement does for you, but what you can do for the boat in the basement.

It's the fall that's gonna kill you.

A Ducky ducking questions is a Mallard on a mission.

A Mallard with a Morgan is a Ducky driven to perfection.

At the heart of every forensic technician is a woman looking for the prints among men.

It is no good being made Director if you cannot even direct your own heart.

Ask not for whom the law applies, it applies for thee.

Well might we say "Semper Fi", but we shall always assume that people lie.

Even when Ziva snores loudly, it is better to let sleeping killers sleep than wake her to reap the silence of eternity.

Ass-kissing on the Hill may be a skill, but being true to yourself is rare talent.

"Fair winds and following seas" are wished to sailors such as me, but "may your love stay strong and true" is what the sailor hopes of you.

Why dazzle them with brilliance, when you can baffle the Boss with Geek Speak?

"Once a Probie, always a Probie, unless someone new comes in after you, then you're not the Probie" Tony to McGee
when he first became part of the team.

" When the going gets tough, the tough go clubbing." (DiNozzo)

To assume makes an ass out of you and McGee.

Never mess with a Marine's coffee.

"If you always do what you've always done, then you'll always get what you always got." (Tony)

If at first you don’t succeed, next time make McGee do it.

Don’t judge a book by its cover or DiNozzo by what he wears.

Don't mess with a woman that can leave no forensic evidence.

If tire tracks are an important evidence, the tire it came from is most likely to have been made exclusively for a specific brand / model / year of car.

Sometimes you are wrong.