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By Bagpuss2 (16)
It was a slow day, a real slow day. No bad guys to catch, no action, nothing. Bored beyond tears, DiNozzo sat at his desk in the Squadroom thinking of new ways to idle away the time before the Boss would walk in and get things going again. Eventually, he came up with something to do, and with Ziva doing stuff of her own, he only had McProbie to keep him company.
"Hey, McGee,if they ever made a movie about us who could play me?"
McGee, being as bored as Tony himself, felt no choice but to respond, albeit half-heartedly.
"I don't know Tony, Steve Carrell?"
DiNozzo looked at him, bemusedly. "Steve Carrell? Carell would be playing you,obviously."
McGee shook his head. "But He's a comedy actor, Tony. Do I look like I should be played by a Comedian?"
"Do you really want me to answer that, probie?"
"The guy's made a career out of playing hapless Schmoes." Countered McGee.
Tony went on. "Exactly, yet I find it disturbing that you should call the talented star of "40 Year Old Virgin" such a thing. A role with which you should identify with."
"Keep digging Tony. Just keep digging."
Tony appeared not to listen. "I've been going through all of the current action heroes on the block and I just can't think of anyone suitable to portray me so, I guess I'll just have to play myself."
"You can't act."
Tony looked hurt. "Sure I can. I go undercover don't I?. When you go undercover you play a role. If I wasn't good at it I'd be dead."
"And would you be writing the script too?" .
"Of course not, "McScribe", that's your department."
I don't write screenplays, only novels."
"Then you can write the Tie-In."
McGee now started thinking of some way to trip Tony up.
"So, who would you pick to play the Boss?" he asked.
Tony rubbed his chin, thoughtfully. "That's a tough one." He pondered the question for a while before answering.
"There was this guy I recall seeing in a cheesy seventies disaster movie from Irwin Allen. The sequel to "The Poseidon Adventure". He played the love interest of Penny Robinson from "Lost In Space." He kind of reminded me of a young Gibbs. Now what was his name? Mick something or other. Of course that was a long time ago, so he's probably too old now to play Gibbs...or dead."
McGee found himself wishing Gibbs or Ziva would return to end this, while Tony just carried right on.
"Now, If we could only travel back in time to the eighties, cast George Gaynes as Gibbs."
McGee could hardly believe his ears. "George Gaynes from the "Police Academy" movies?"
"And what's wrong with that?"
"Because It's George Gaynes from the "Police Academy" movies!"
"But he was great in those. Remember the first one? the "podium" scene?"
"Tony, even people who never saw the movie remembers the "podium" scene!" McGee just shook his head. "Why don't you just go all out and cast Leslie Nielson as Gibbs."
Tony stared at Tim in stunned amazement and awe. "Oh my God! Probie you're a genius! Of course! Why didn't I think of that? Nielson, the great Leslie!"
McGee just looked on in disbelief. "Surely, you can't be serious."
Po-faced, Dinozzo looked Tim straight in the eye and said, "I am serious, and don't call me Shirley."
McGee buried his head in his hands, realising that Tony had been steering him towards this moment the whole time. "Damn it! I walked right into it"
DiNozzo was beside himself with joy. "Yes you did!"
Mcgee lowered his hands from his face slowly and smiled.
"Hah!" exclaimed Tony. "See, you liked where I was going with that didn't you?"
Mcgee shook his head. "I'm going to like this more." he said, still smiling, as Tony heard Gibbs' voice from somewhere close behind.
"I'd prefer Gaynes myself. Nielson is way too broad."
"How much of that did you hear Boss?" asked Tony, fearfully.
"Mostly all of it." Gibbs replied.
"And are you about to do what I think you're about to do?"
Although expected, the "Gibbs Slap" still hurt.
Now it was McGee's turn to be happy. "They should have one of those in the movie, Tony. It ought to get a laugh."
Gibbs wasn't finished yet. "Oh, and Dinozzo, the guy in the disaster movie? His name is Mark, not Mick, and he IS still alive."
Tony rubbed the back of his head where Gibbs had struck him.
"Glad to hear it Boss. Ouch!"
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, Aug 26 2011, 9:03 AM EDT
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