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M. Allison Hart's SongChristmas is coming, Gibbs' dad is getting sad
When I was a lass I served a term
As office girl to an Attorney's firm.
I cleaned the windows and I swept the floor,
And I polished up my knowledge of the books of law.
I polished up that knowledge so carefully
That now I am a lawyer who can scare McGee
I'm feisty and clever and I have long hair (But pull it that DiNozzo boy would never dare)
I scare most men but entrance them too Though silver-blue-eyed foxes seem to stare right through
Mister Gibbs stares through so carefully I'm wearing extra clothes to keep my modesty
My client's bad. It doesnt bother me For lawyers advocate when they are paid to be
The mouthpiece of the law and defender too
of rights the constitution gave to me and you
Watch Ziva memorising full verbatim Those rules that Jethro thinks just dont apply to him
We're only halfway through my arc
That writers of the show have written for my part
I dont know yet where this will go Though Harmon said the viewers cannot guess or know
Most people thought we'd get involved romantically But probably the people have been self-deceived.
ODE FOR THE SEASON 7 CHRISTMAS EPISODE "FAITH"
Distressed, he comes to visit Gibbs
Thus Gibbs' knows something's bad
They have some little squabbles
Then Gibbs calls Ducky in
And Ducky does analysis with whisky and a grin
Investigate! says our Ducky so Gibbs picks up his phone
And learns of guns and violence much too close to home
Thus Gibbs and his dad talk. They have a fireside chat.
And Dad asks Gibbs the question about how he coped with "that"
For "that" was killing people with precision, care and aim
And living with the fact that someone's family was slain
It's different when you know them, or at least have seen their face
For Dad had flown bombers. Killed, yet never felt disgrace.
It's different when you know them, and know they had a child.
For Dad this thought brings turmoil. It's pain that's hard to hide.
But Gibbs has shifted hobbies, from boats to Santa chores,
Gifts for kids, all worked in wood.
Craft to ease the mind.
So craft they do together, and load it in a sack.
And Christmas Eve sees Santa Gibbs with toys upon his back.
The sentiment is extant. The messages are clear.
If ever you must listen and love
It's at this time of year.
THIS IS MY 1000th contribution, so I thought I would just write a line saying "This is my 1000th contribution" to record the moment on my own profile page. A personal millennium! I am a wiki-millipede.
Nine Lives Episode rated Number ONE! so here is a parody on the song "One"
One is the loveliest number that you'll ever do
Two: not as good as one
It's the loveliest number since the number one
"Top" is the gladdest experience you'll ever know
Yes, it's the gladdest experience you'll ever know
`Cause one is the loveliest number that you'll ever do
One is the loveliest number, up from two
It's just so good everytime we rate okay
Now I spend my time just making rhymes of ratings day
One is the loveliest..,
Number one is the loveliest..
Number one is the loveliest number that we'll ever do
One is the loveliest, one is the loveliest
One is the loveliest number that we'll ever do
It's just so good everytime ratings soar away
(Number) One is the loveliest
(Number) One is the loveliest
Tony singing to the Beatles tune "A little help from my friends"
Agent Afloat! Stuck on this friggin' boat Really takes all the stuffing from me
Never alone Yet I'm never at home Never sure what the timezone might be
Ooh I sure need a little help from my friends Least there's a case here my mind now to bend
Man overboard! Good grief! Call to the Lord For this boat sure aint stopping to look
Seems like he dived (what a fast suicide) The widow? By husband, forsook
Ooh at this moment I'm glad I'm at sea (Ooh! As a thought that was really crazy)
What's that news that you tell me? The wife was already dead! And the credit card action? Yippee! I'm Mexico-led.
Bad guy I knew would soon show me the shoe And the shoe led straight to the body
Evans is dead from a hit to the head That means Seahawk's got anthrax, maybe?
Ooh we got problems! Let's tell the Navy. Ooh we must check out each man who's at sea
Help me Timmy and Abby We need some cyber intel But I'm also so happy as Gibbs and Ziva impel...
Me to return to the ship with them both We must tell Captain all that we know
Searching the ship, Ziva's secrets kept zipped But we find Caplan's blameless although
Henley has taken a hostage on board Med-evac plane, til Gibbs has the guy floored
Now Gibbs tells me the great news The pris'ner's mine to take home See me run through the ship now "To DC! Home I a-goin'"
Vance plays with Gibbs who must bow to his nibs Vance deceives him until I confirm
I'm back with the team Abby hugs me and screams Vance could cause Gibbs some real hard concern
Ooh back at work with the N-Kiss A-team (Ooh I'm gonna watch Ziva's bod in my dream)
Ooh when Gibbs headslaps me next, will I scream?
Ziva singing to the tune of Beatles "What would you do if I sang out of tune?" (A little help from my friends)
What would you do if I ran from this room
'Cause Tony was too near to me?
Photos he takes and displays round the place
Seem to sadly objectify me
Ooh I'll revenge with a little help from my friends
Ooh I'm gonna get him with help from my friends
Abs and McGee have been true friends to me
They stepped up to help save me from jail (in Shalom)
Ducky is kind: gave me tea, eased my mind
Made me laugh with one joke out of three
Ooh I get by with a little help from my friends
Ooh I so hope they help me get revenge
Do I need anybody?
I once found love on the run.
Orange beanie embodied
the man I thought I could love.
Tony is fine, he's a good friend of mine
But sometimes he is so infantile.
Gibbs is the dad that I wish I had had
Though sometimes he is hard to make smile
Ooh I get by with a little help from the team
Ooh to be back has fulfilled my fav'rite dream
Though I love them all dearly
I still, my secrets, can't tell
If they knew about Ari
Would they consign me to hell?
Friendship is tough
Gibbs' demands are enough
To keep me on my toes everyday
But working I find
Makes me feel in my mind
That my world works in orderly ways
Ooh I get by with a little help from my friends
Ooh I'll survive with a little help from my friends
Ooh I'm gonna need to get help from my friends!
to the tune of the Beatles song "HELP!"
A song by Gibbs, made up whilst varnishing his boat whilst waiting for the start of season 6.
When I was younger (so much younger than today)
I never needed anybody's help in any way
But now those days are gone
So I got myself a team
Now Vance is stepping in
and breaking up the dream
Help us Lord, our Tony D (the clown)
Has been sent to sea (I fear that he might drown)
Hope that ship-to-shore phone's never down
Won't you please please please help Tony
McGee will be ok, in a computer team
Sitting there, fixated stare
Upon computer screens
But he was coming on, his field skills were secure
Vance will have to change his mind,
or dumped in deep manure
Help me get McGee back on the ground
Or Abby will drive me bats when she has found
Every single reason to demand
Her McGee Gee Gee back in her lab
Ziva has gone away to Is-ra-el today
Never know the things she thinks
Or what weird thing she'll say
But she is strong and saved my life
I owe her everything
Got my mind to work again
I got to get her in
Help me get our Ziva back to town
In DC she can make the world go round
Help me get her feet back on our ground
Wont you please please please help me
Get our Zi-Zi-Ziva back to DC
Hark when the night is falling
Hear! Hear! that death is calling,
See that Grim Reaper hauling Down these good men.
There where the hills are sleeping, Now feel the blood a-seeping,
Liver temp tells me time of death of these men.
Towering in coldblood rage, Gibbs storms across the stage,
Anger at murder hideous and foul,
Got time of death? he asks me, Don't fob me off please Ducky,
Let's get this body back to Autopsy lab.
First I observe the outside, Clean up the blood and decide,
Whether to start with a saw to the skull
Gruesome it seems to strangers But life is full of dangers
Yet these dead bodies here Are really quite fun.
I tell them all my tales History I them regale
Salient facts are strewn amidst my words
Dead men give silent witness To how they met their death with
Traces of evidence that I doth collect.
Abby is my good friend and Mass Spec will, at the end,
tell us what all the scrapings really mean
Gibbs will roll in for findings I will display my mindings
Then he'll go back and he will tell all the team.
Gibbs' team pursues the clues and Give me the news of progress
I make sage observations now and again
Tony will act absurdly Ziva might be quite flirty Tim will respond quite curtly
Gibbs will just stare.
Abs, me and Palmer three Lab rats is what we be
But those strong agents Need what we can do
Our findings evidentiary Send men to penitentiary
I'll stand as expert witness Honest and true
Hark for the night is falling
"M.E" again they're calling
Another body has to be examined
Liver probe in my hand For science I'll make my stand
"Let's go, Mr Palmer!" back to Autopsy Lab.
(to the tune of HEARTBREAK HOTEL)
Oh Season 6 we need you
To start up straight away
Our wiki members are distressed and sanity has frayed
because those naughty N-Kiss writers,
and their show producers
They just keep stringing us along
V1. I dreamed a dream in days gone by
When I was young and life worth living
I dreamed that I would never die
I dreamed that guns would be forgiving
V2. Then I was young and unafraid
No songs unsung, no case rejected
But there are prices to be paid
And to serve justice, I elected
(chorus) And the lion roared delight
As his claws reached out to touch me
With a 'Kate' to catch his prey
Brought me down in glare of day
V3. I thought that Ari's eyes seemed kind
I thought we'd reached some understanding
But I was fooled and he denied
My human right to life, demanding
V4. That my lifespark be turned to night
That all my hopes and fears be wasted
I fell, his bullet in my mind
Then knew Ari I'd underrated
(Chorus) And these seraphim appear
To sing songs of endless glory
Yet I'd swap them all, I fear
Just to live another day
V 5 (coda) My dreams of old all turned to dust
My dreams have changed to new directions
Eternal life, in God I trust
In paradise I'll dream new dreams.
Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These) Annie Lennox Sweet dreams are made of this Who are we to disagree? We travel the world by the seven seas Every agent's looking for something. Some like Ari will shoot you Some of them want to get shot by you All of them want to confuse you None of them want to be accused. Sweet dreams are made of this Though Gibbs might choose to disagree? Protecting the world 'cross the seven seas Everybody's looking for bad guys.
Round like a circle in a spiral Like a dream within a dream Never ending or beginning Like a Ziva-victim's scream Like a Palmer down a mountain Or an Honor Code balloon Like a sniper's gun that's turning Running bullets round the room Like a gothic tech that's yearning for her mass spectrometer And a specimen that's burning up The oxygen in air Like the images you find as your N-CIS dreams unwind Down a hollow to a cavern where the sun has never shone Find a victim's body waiting But assassin's been and gone Has he left forensic timebombs That will see him taken down? Or will he outwit our Jethro: Make his gut instinct a clown? Will old Fornell beat him to it And stop by his dream to gloat? Will our Tony meet old Sacks and grasp him firmly by the throat? All these images unwind In the dreams that stalk your mind Badge of power in your pocket Slaps that make you bow your head Why do dead folk scream so loudly? (Was it something Ducky said?) Lovers walk along a shore And they irradiate the sand. Is the sound of distant drumming Just sound of Tony's hand? Pictures hang of the 'most wanted'. Bombs, our faith in power shook Half-remembered names and faces (Pin-Pin Pula: take a look) Then Gibbs knew that it was over And was suddenly aware That the autumn leaves were turning To the colour of red hair Like a circle in a spiral Ziva gets behind the wheel Nightmare journeys now continue With an everlasting feel Yet the dreams and hopes unwind As the brakes now Ziva finds In the NCIS of your mind.
When I grow too old to dream
I'll have Gibbs to remember.
When I hear the N-Kiss theme
My blood will surge through my heart.
I'll watch the old show And bask in the glow
'Cause if I grow too old to dream
My Gibbs will live in my heart.
Drea-eam, dream, dream, dream
Drea-eam, dream, dream, dream
When I have crimes, I want to solve When bad guys seem, to have control
Whenever I want peace, all I have to do is Drea-eam, dream, dream, dream
We agents brood in the night We keep the faith, we hold on tight.
While waiting for Abby's test from the lab, We Drea-eam
I interrogate, glare and speculate
Anytime night or day
Hack the CIA? What? Hey! I'm dreamin' they'll say its OK
I work knowing that I could die
I love justice and that is why
Whenever you need me, all you have to do is Screa-ea-ea-ea-eam,
scream, scream, scream screa-ea-ea-ea-eam
I can catch a crook, throw at him the book
Bluff, so he'll give himself away
Keep him up all night Give fright.
I'm dreamin' in jail he'll stay.
My family died, so now I hide my heart away (I have my pride..yet..)
Whenever I want them, all I have to do is Drea-eam, dream, dream, dream Drea-eam
Whenever I want Shannon All I have to do is Dream.
Where do I begin to tell the story of the mystic N-kiss team? They seem so special that I watch them in a dream; They seem so funny that they often make me scream and laugh out loud With his first "hello" I thought that Gibbs would be the hero of the show But soon the others I also began to know And now its hard to say which one I love, although Gibbs has the eyes Gibbs' deep blue eyes Are mesmer-ri-i-sing One never tires (They're hypno-ti-i-sing!) He has the eyes; And, then, that hair! It's silver and it's cut so very ba-ad-ly and yet it seems we love, quite madly, this ex-marine, this wounded heart..... How long will it last? Can shows be measured by the seasons they record? Will all our favourite stars re-main firmly on board? Or should I start to pray each day unto the Lord "Renew this show!" How long will it last? Can love be measured by the repeats we all watch? By wiki traffic? by the wetpaint rankings got? By all the fanmail? (Who cares? Our Gibbs is hot!) And so we'll watch....
If I loved Gibbs I'd stammer things that I'd try to say Round in circles I'd go If I loved Gibbs Words wouldnt come in an easy way Soon, his headslaps, I'd know I'd drive him crazy With my timid smile He'd go for coffee and he'd run a mile Reassign me Get rid of me like Agent Lee Snarl as at poor Cassideeeeeeeeeeeeeeey Scares me silly That's my Gibbsy
To honour Scorpio Lady's OKLAHOMA theme, here is Hoorooblue's parody on the song "O what a beautiful morning"
There's a bright little show on our wiki
There's a bright little show on our wiki
The ratings are high as an elephant's eye
And it looks like they're going clear up to the sky.
O what a beautiful cop show
NCIS! I'm longing to see
Season six back with DiNozzo
Right there upon my TV
O the agents prepare now for battle
All the bad guys and villains they'll rattle
They'll all shoot to kill but their humour will still
Be showing us all why we willl watch them until
They are the number one cop show
Deserving the highest rating
NCIS is best! And we fans know
"N-CIS rules! Gibbs is the king!"
SCORPIO-LADY's Surrey with the fringe on top: H's editorial feedback for her (work in progress) Gibbs and Ducky both guide the Gibblets Firm and cultured un-til the sun sets Always Faithful...deeply respectful...in each episode. Tony, Ziva, Abby all work hard Solving crimes while making us laugh hard Even Palmer became a charmer...in each episode. Agent Lee spends a lot of her time Afraid that she won't find her undies! And, Agent Jardine always washes her hands Afraid that "these germs will attack me" Ain't no finer show I'm a-thinkin' You can keep yer show that you're bringin' if you're thinking I'd ever look as if I'd CARE TO SWAP For these Characters we love (Our show's right at the top)! Fornell wants a conference with Jethro To the elevator they both go Trust between them builds with the humor...in each episode. Vance and Sacks are left on the outside Scheming ways to get on the inside Beta Noire is all they accomplish...in each episode. McGeek is hacking the CIA Afraid of the dire consequences! And, Shane Brennan's just wringing his hands Afraid of a change in the Schedule! "Hush now all you fans," he's a thinkin'. "This show's still a long way from sinkin'!" "Season Six is going to amaze you...and we'll NEV-ER STOP!" "So, stick with us and we'll be here 'til we're UP on the top!" PARODY UNDER CONSTRUCTION.... Three little naughty agents we Ziva and Tony and McGee Filled to the brim with ghoulish glee Three little Giblets true Everything is a source of fun Nobody's safe, we just shoot and run Life is a joke that's just begun Three little Giblets true Three little Agents, all unwary Come from the N-Kiss seminary Freed from its genius tutelary Three Giblets true from school (We who Gibbs oft calls "Fool!") Ziva so fearless will kill, bang-bang Tony will find it a thrill, and hang pictures on Abby's lab wall She'll show them off to McGee These naughty agents three From three little maids take one away Two little maids remain, and they Won't have to wait very long, they say Three little maids from school Three little maids from school Three little maids who, all unwary Come from a ladies' seminary Freed from its genius tutelary Three little maids from school Three little maids from school The Rules according to L.J Gibbs (Thus Far) (imported from the NCIS Character page for LJ Gibbs)
Unofficial Rule B: We don't believe in coincidence.
Unofficial Rule C: But we do believe in bad luck. (Head Case)
Unofficial Rule D: Don't speak geekspeak, speak English. (Family 5.02)
Unofficial Rule E: Headslap only the back of your underlings' heads: anything else would be demeaning.
Unofficial Rule F: Always anticipate
Unofficial Rule G: Know how to do every job that your underlings can do
Unofficial Rule H: If a computer doesnt work, hit it.
Unofficial Rule I: Always acknowledge good work by underlings.
Unofficial Rule J: When using Truth by Intimidation, always remain silent for at least a count of 5 after doing the act of intimidation, at which point the canary will sing.
Unofficial Rule K: When in the interrogation room, stop the recording devices when the information strays into personal matters irrelevant to the investigation (eg dont ask/dont tell rules for gay marines, revelations of unrequited love)
Unofficial Rule L: When your cellphone breaks, have DiNozzo "fix" it (unwrap a new one from the supply drawer) Unofficial Rule M: Always ask for permission to touch the body: it belongs to the M.Examiner. Unofficial Rule N: When doing a shootout, dont kill the hostage and avoid shooting off their ear. Unofficial Rule O: Don't call Ziva 'Ma'am' and dont call the Director 'Madam Director', if you want to live. Unofficial Rule P: When hacking the CIA, give underlings a get out of jail free pass. Unofficial Rule Q: When breaking others' rules, do not get caught.
I'm gonna buy a paper Gibbs that I can call my own
A Gibbs that other women cannot steal
And then those naughty naughty flirts In their girly swirly skirts
Will have to flirt with agents that are real.
When I get to my lab, he will be waiting.
He'll be the cutest Gibbs in all the world
I'd rather have a paper Gibbs to call my own
Than languish in this basement all a-lone.
David's Delight (weapons are a girl's best friend)
A kiss on the hand may be quite continental
But weapons are a girl's best friend
To know how to fight cannot be detrimental to survival rates against the fates
Agents bold might yet grow old but "close shave" is our most common phrase
With knuckles, guns, knives we might just save our lives
Oh Weapons are a girl's best friend
Ducky Ditty regarding "he hasnt had the damn plague" To tune of "I could have danced all night" from My Fair Lady. This body’s lungs are fine (I think it so divine I want to dance and sing for joy) I rush upstairs to tell The team that Tony’s well (The dead man’s not our boy) I really know I shouldn’t be excited When someone's life has been destroyed: I only know when he Proved to be plague-free I had to sing "he's no-o-o-o-ot our bo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oy!"
Ducky's Song (by Hoorooblue, adapted from Gilbert & Sullivan) TO BE SUNG BY DUCKY AT THE NEXT NCIS OFFICE PARTY AFTER HE HAS HAD A FEW TOO MANY DRAMS OF WHISKY.I am the very model of a medical examiner I work with Abby Sciuto and I almost am in love with her She’s really like a granddaughter whose gone a little gothical But when we talk we really do get very philosophical My best pal is the agent, Gibbs, who really is quite difficult But trust his gut! it’s never wrong, (and if it is, it’s not his fault) He’s had a very hard, sad life, as sniper, husband and my friend He’s heard my favourite stories ‘til it nearly sends him round the bend I work with Jimmy Palmer too, who at this game is very new I’m training him to take my place but fear he may not ever face His rightful retribution for disturbing my dear dead cli-ents Whilst rogering the very pretty Lee, his special ag-ee-ent. The others in our team include the agent Tony Di-Noz-Zo He seems so silly ‘til you note that everything he seems to know Is what the mission needs to know if solving crime is our big aim He’s serious about his work but acts as if it’s one big game This contrasts very much to Mossad’s officer Zi-va Da-Vid Whose inner thoughts from all of us, most def-in-ite-ly are well hid Her killer looks are lit-er-al, her bomb defusing is much used The only problem is her English id-i-om is much abused Dear Tim McGee is charming now but Tony’s had his way with him Producing maddish moments when our Tim has become very grim He writes appalling books which feature me (so them I have to read) He types on his computer til his fingers oft begin to bleed Director Jenny Sheppard is some-one I used to know before She got a bigger name plate nail-ed up on her big office door She’s gone a little crazy ‘cause she had a little too much Frog (I tell you that is one story the government won't let you blog) With Jenny (though she’s rarely seen) is Jen’s dear helper, Cyn-thi-a The only woman Gibbs can’t charm is Cynthia : he deals with her By barging through Jen’s door. It makes e-norm-ous fuss and ten-si-on But happens so damn often that it's too normal to men-ti-on. We used to have a friend called Kate and I had one called Gerald too A bloke called Ari did them in, we didn’t know quite what to do He caused a lot of trouble here, (I really was quite cross!), but then I knew that Gibbs would solve it all and give us back our peace again. Sometimes we get a visit from our old friend Agent T Fornell He huddles in the lift with Gibbs but what they say, they never tell He married one of Gibbs’ ex-wives: it caused a lot of strife one time But now they both have learned to live on pennies ‘cause she took their dimes We've said 'Adieu!' unto the two that Tony and our Gibbs romanced These boys had been so very good at managing to take a stance That backfir'd very badly when the women said they want to know The secrets of their inner hearts and whether love they soon would show Our fam'ly here is quite complete, we’ve handed all the talent out Around the little group (and so we really think we want for nowt) And so if you are watching me on telly, then you must infer I am the very model of a medical examiner! (And so if we are watching him on tel-ly, then we must infer, He really is the model of a medical examiner!)
(Number) One is the loveliest
Latest page update: Mar 10 2010, 3:07 PM EST